Warning to all students of Oceanside HS: John, the stoner security guard said to me, "I'll cut your ding-dong off." This occurred last year, but I just remembered to post it now. If you ask him about it he would deny it because he forgot about it due to his excessive smoking of pot, but Marc Beja will attest to it.
EDIT: Actually he said, "I'll cut your ding-dongs off," since he was talking to two people.