Lenny's Old Old Blog: November 2003

for embarrassing posterity

Crystal Ball

Sunday, November 30, 2003

What would Michael Jackson have looked like without plastic surgery? He certainly would not appear as he did in his latest press release. One prediction is…normal!

1043 Greatest Rock and Roll Songs

Sunday, November 30, 2003

Q104.3 (Long Island) just finished counting down the greatest 1043 classic rock songs, as chosen by their listeners. To no surprise, Stairway to Heaven got the top spot. I listened a bit throughout the countdown and to the last fifty songs. Tomorrow they will release the list online for my linking. They posted the greatest 1043 songs.


Friday, November 28, 2003

I can drive.

Endless Nameless

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Say what you will, but today is Friday. As I walked into my physics class, Bret Tenenhaus handed me this poem, entitled Leonid the Lion:

Hello Lenny Hello
It’s good to see you in Physics
You are a work of power
And its true
That Power equals money
And work equals time

Hello Leonid Hello
Its tough to look over your fro
That smile on your face fills people with light
And your knowledge of Physics
Is so very vast

Hello Mr. Lion hello
You are weird to Brian Hochhauser
But that is okay
That’s what you like to say
Because Work is time
And power is money

Maybe you know your shit
Or maybe you don’t
But either way you use my graphing calculator
You claim to be the son
Of Michael Jackson
But that’s only because
You use the ABC mode
Kak Dela Lenny
Privet Lenny Privet

Capitalization was accurate. Bret also wrote one for Scott Weiss.

After school I went to the Kalner thing which was only a few minutes. The course was accepted by Dr. Brown. History of the Future will have at least one twenty week class taught by Mr. Kalner.

We played some ultimate frisbee without people from college. Nobody from college showed up to frisbee, although they did come to school during school hours. Kalner joined us in frisbee at the end. He has a really strong and stable throw, so with a bit of practice he can probably become very good.

My mother is coming home today from Israel. I had to get home early (as in before 5:00) to vacuum the house before her arrival, but while grumbling and vacuuming I discovered a package containing my Amazon order, so now as I blog I am listening to John Frusciante.

Giddy Geese

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Due to the holiday, school has been, well, pointless. Teachers give no homework, students are immature from excitement, and right now in computer science we are watching AntiTrust. Argle!

Giving Thanks

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

The big day is coming. Thanksgiving is this Thursday, which means my brother is coming home today. Thank you, Kenny, for visiting. Thank you, crazy Chinese drivers for driving.

Justin thinks that Thanksgiving is hypocritical since people should always give thanks, but he wants to go work at a soup kitchen this weekend, the only time it would already be full of volunteers. Hippo-crite! That came off awefully offensive, didn’t it? It was not meant to be so harsh. Thank you, Justin, for caring about people.

Ari created the best “your mom” comeback:

Ari, you’re so fat.
Well, your mom always makes me brownies after we have sex.

Thank you, Ari, for sharing your maize.


Saturday, November 22, 2003

I forgot: is life still considered sacred? Genetic engineering has entered the the realm of novelty with GloFish, a glow-in-the-dark fish. The New York Times reports: Gene-Altering Revolution Nears the Pet Store: Glow-in-the-Dark Fish.

Philosophy Edition

Friday, November 21, 2003

An innocent visit to the Anti-Idiotarian Manifesto resulted in a heated cross between philosophical discussion and debate between Tomasz and I.

I find it really difficult to agree with what ESR says about the necessity of war, but I realise that this is because I am, in not so drastic a degree as Tomasz, an idealist.

One product of our discussion is the public apology to Vietnam. Another is a wealth of knowledge. Another is a text file containing an extensive chat about politics and humanity.

Burning a hole in my pocket

Friday, November 21, 2003

Just ordered from Amazon:

Soon to be ordered from the Homestar Runner Store:


Friday, November 21, 2003

Yesterday Mr. Ehrman said that the three S’s of bad homework are: skippy, sloppy, and late. Mr. Kalner said that those were his goldfish.

For the people who make websites among my readership, A List Apart 164 is out. I haven’t yet read the articles, so don’t yell at me if they suck.

Today was quite awesome after school. We started frisbee with I believe twenty-two people. We eventually cut down to normal teams. We ordered pizza right onto the field. It ended after five with us playing with a non-glowing frisbee which comes into sight when ten feet away from your face. It was just an overall period of friendliness: even Potts managed to hold back his urges to piss everybody off. While we were eating the pizza some people came to film themselves shooting golfballs at the school. Nobody was hurt. Good times...

Good luck to all of the thespians in Our Town.

Dovid got me to join USALUG even though I use Windows. It seems pretty good, in the geekish sense of the word.

I must now advertise for Lippy’s blog. Despite his computer illiteracy, he managed to whip together a good blog. For your enjoyment, a thorough review:

Well that’s enough bashing and promotion bundled into one juicy, creamy, tangy, smooth—I must be hungry—right then. Lippy kicks ass.

Mom → Israel

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

My mom left for Israel after work yesterday and got there some time this morning. I went there a bunch of times to visit family, but this time she decided to go without waiting for a vacation from school. My dad and I are managing so far. I think she did it to test us. Argle! We’re running out of food. If anybody has a spare mom I would greatly appreciate a temp cook. It’s not anti-feminine sexism—if anything I’m insulting man’s incompetence.


Tuesday, November 18, 2003


My first Make-a-Flake snowflake kicks arse. Make your own.

EDIT: Contrary to popular belief, making snowflakes is a heterosexual activity.

Standardized Egotism

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Report cards came today. I had a 94 average (103 weighted)—much better than I had expected. To not keep this post too short, a couple nibblets of randomenss:

Stopping Spam

Monday, November 17, 2003

If people started responding to just 1% of the spam we received, spammers would drown in the responses, and the mortage spam responses wouldn't be worth an email, much less $50.

Slashdot’s proposal of attacking the spammer business model is quite interesting. I am unwilling to participate, however, for a few reasons.

The idea has its merits, but this is the sort of thing that requires unity among people in replying to spam—a proposal that will probably never be followed through.

Wanna Bet?

Monday, November 17, 2003

Not that most people care, but I will bet you that Mozilla will put out an XHTML 2 / CSS 3 compatible browser before Microsoft makes an HTML 4 / CSS 1 browser. I’ve been playing with web design a lot lately and making a page work on Internet Explorer is such a pain in the ass. If you won’t do it for yourself, do me a favor and get Mozilla.

Enter the world of Russian humor

Sunday, November 16, 2003

As a man is leaving a pool he is stopped by the security guard. The guard asks him to return his membership card—he is banned from returning for peeing in the water. The man asks,

“Why me? Plenty of people do it!”

“But,” responds the guard, “you were the only on to do it from the diving board.”


Saturday, November 15, 2003

Scott's criticism of Starbucks is lacking to say the least.

  1. The coffee does not taste like shit. Rather, it has no taste as it is so watered down.
  2. While discussing Starbucks’ confusing “sophisticated” naming system, he failed to mention their use of three languages to describe cup size. Tall, grande, and venti all mean large.
  3. He apparently does not know of my method of beating the system. For access to their couches, buy the cheapest coffee there and drain the free milk into your cup. You can continue to look like you are a paying customer three cups after your coffee.


Friday, November 14, 2003

I thought it was dead, but no, I found an actual gopher server, complete with a list of some other gophers. The best thing I have found so far is the script to Holy Grail. For all of you suckers who want the script but are stuck in IE, get Mozilla, which on an unrelated note finally made it’s long-time accessible beta site the main site. Even Lynx understands gopher.

What was he up to?

Friday, November 14, 2003

Is it normal to talk so much about a teacher? Don’t answer that.

(17:37:40) Justin:
i want to find out who mr.kalner went out with last night
(17:37:43) Justin:
he said it was an english teacher
(17:37:54) Justin:
but he wouldnt say if she went to the school or not
(17:37:58) Justin:
(17:38:06) Me:
(17:38:09) Justin:
(17:38:13) Justin:
can you imagine that?
(17:38:16) Justin:
she would kill him
(17:38:33) Me:
i was rofl too, but literally, unlike you
(17:38:47) Justin:
and note, they were BOTH in VERY GOOD MOODS TODAY
(17:39:40) Me:
what are you implying with your capital letters?
(17:39:44) Justin <AUTO-REPLY> :
mexican pizzaing


Friday, November 14, 2003

Kalner grading my identification homework.

Merriwether and Lewis: Mr. Kalner’s attempt at “Lewis and Clark.”
Lewis and Clark: Merriwether Lewis and William Clark went on an expedition of what was to become the western United States. The expedition, which went to Oregon country, mapped much of the geography of the west, helped the United States to claim the area, and established better terms with Indians. funny, −1

Japanese Soldiers

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Since when did Japan have troops to not send to Iraq.

Building a Balancing Scooter

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Watch out Segway! Trevor Blackwell built a balancing scooter out of scraps in a few days.


Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Adding to a previous post in which I mentioned my school fucking up Internet access: the borked dirty site is

Special Numbers

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Every number is special. No two numbers are not on fire.


Monday, November 10, 2003

Looks like I happened to miss this announcement from September. Apparently we the people have gotten (which I noticed) some of the Blogger Pro features for free and will soon get all of them. The announcement was only two links from the Blogger homepage.

Mozilla 1.6a

Monday, November 10, 2003

Mozilla 1.6a is out. They work damn fast. Mozilla 1.5 final was released less than a month ago. It should be another month or three before Mozilla 1.6 will be done. There are no major updates to the browser; most changes were done in the mail client. This post is a perfect place to plug Mozilla 1.5, the latest stable Mozilla, and for the next few months the best web experience available.

B-B-B-Beja and the Net

Monday, November 10, 2003

Sing it! Marc came home early this morning. The campaign is officially closed. He’s back to deal with his problems. We welcome him with open arms. Or something like that.

My school broke the Internet, which led me to believe that the whole of the Internet was broken, but a quick check at Google News reassured me that only a small community was affected. I don’t know if somebody cracked the system or if the school, in a most idiotic fashion, did it intentionally, but a wildcard was set up for the com and net domains. I thought Verisign did it again. If I put in a bullshit domain ending in com I would go to some dirty-looking spammer’s or squatter’s directory site, but the greatest problem was that I would also reach it for certain domains such as blogger.com, which I needed to spread my disgust with what happened.

Now I’m at home with my reliable lack of idiocy. The school simply doesn’t get it. I downloaded Mozilla Firebird, so they blocked it for everybody after me. They didn’t block the FTP site however, so people are still free to download it. They can block all they want and break some stuff along the way, but normal people couldn’t do any damage anyway and geek will always find a way to circumvent the school’s authority. Why won’t they just give up and stop being so damn imposing?


Saturday, November 08, 2003

Missing: Marc Alan Beja. Age: 16. Last Seen: Nov. 6, 2003. If seen call 555-5542.
Thanks to Justin for the picture. Join the campaign.

The photo is a bit outdated (from the middle school yearbook,) but oh well. To join “Blogs for Beja,” copy the text below into your blog or journal. Update: if you posted this picture in your blog linking directly to the original before 6:30 PM EST you have to update the image location. Justin’s server was having problems, so I'm hosting it on Geocities and viewing it through a proxy. Enjoy.

Third in a Series

Saturday, November 08, 2003

More unrelated randomness:

Why Tim Robbins was in AntiTrust

Saturday, November 08, 2003

You wanted a word with me?
We have a film for you.
May I see the script?
Yes, right after you sign here. In blood.
Are those horns?
Are what horns?

Save Marc Beja

Saturday, November 08, 2003

Marc is missing. He’s chatting under the inconspicuous alias of “iamnotbeja.” If you’re concerned, or at least find this funny, you really can help.

Our hearts are with you Marc.

Update: this is the link-back post for the now named campaign, “Blogs for Beja.”


Friday, November 07, 2003

or Mini Ball

Rolling Potheads, Mickey, Quotes, Beyond blog(Lenny), and, Uh, Some Other Stuff

Friday, November 07, 2003

Mr. Skinner proposed a club called “Rolling Potheads.” The club operates on the “hit for hit” method. In this club the members walk around and looking for stoners. They then beat them up and take their money. Will this really solve problems? That&tsquo;s not the point of the club.

Kalner blasted 80s pop including Mickey while we were taking a quiz. This was supposedly to keep us from making any extrenous noise ourselves since we would not be able to hear Alex Roth announce the answers that way. I’m sure the real reason was to just expose the depths of his trouble mind to us.

Dan has two new quotes, which are mostly enjoyable only to those who know Dan:

Sam: If life gives you Easter, make lemons

Hopefully this site will be dead soon. That sounds kind of grim, but actually I want to make a new site with a better host, a better domain name, and a better publishing system. Don’t expect this too soon since I’m not quite sure about whether it’s worth paying for.

This post deserves no decent title.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

21 degrees of separation: Yahzoo Land Company → Yahoo? → kazoo? → Kazaa? → Havana? → banana? → CIA? → hooray? → loco? → Mambo? → jumbo? → lobster? → Hobbes? → snobs? → globs? → Flubber? → blubber? → walrus? → Beatles? → beetles? → sphinx? → Jefferson.

Uncle Bobs Glass Eye

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

From eBay item 2955931507 (Ends Oct-15-03 12:30:16 PDT) - Uncle Bobs Glass Eye:

One night my girlfriend went in the drawer to get a condom out and damn near had a fatal heart attack. I love Uncle Bob and all but my girlfriend said that if I don't get rid of that damn glass eye I would never get sex again. Well, what do you do with a damned used glass eye? eBay of course!


Wednesday, November 05, 2003

weboce: v. My attempted spelling of “become.”


Saturday, November 01, 2003

The new look is so beautiful! I think I’m going to cry!

EDIT: I hacked the style sheet so it looks just as good on IE as it does on normal browsers.

Best. Costumes. Ever.

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Halloween was awesome. I dressed up as God. I wore a mattress cover and a beard Marc bought for me. It was pretty believable, although a common misconception was that I was Moses, Jesus, or Father Time. I won’t settle for prophets or messiahs—when I blaspheme I go all out. Dovid was so offended I can’t help but laugh, especially since absolutely nobody else was offended. Not the old, not the young, not the non-Dave religious—just Dave. I see nothing wrong with a bit of sacrilege, especially at his expense.

My compadres for lunch were

The math department had fun. Mrs. Spector dressed up as Mr. Ross and Mr. Ross as Mrs. Spector. I don’t think anybody will have respect for that man ever again. Either that or they will gain more respect, but it must be one of the extremes.

Some other costumes of note were

Jeff surprisingly, did not dress as the Pillsbury Doughboy.

I went to play frisbee in my God suit. Rob Greco, being the dick that he is, decide to try to knock me over. Within half a minute he was pinned to the ground at the mercy of the almighty. He ended up leaving with the burden of the embarrassment of having his ass kicked by a fairly small cloaked person who didn't expect to wrestle. It turned out to be a great game with Turk, Holo, and Steve coming back from college.

I then walked around a bit with Sam and Mike (a.k.a Penis) trick-or-treating at stores. To great surprise, a Chinese restaurant gave out the best candy, or at least the most exotic. We eventually went back to Sam’s house to make music.

And now here I am concluding the best, costume-wise, Halloween ever. I can’t get the taste of fake beard out of my mouth.

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