Lenny's Old Old Blog

Replaced

2006-05-05T17:39:00.000-04:00

Attention:

I set up a new website at domnit.org, so this is obsolete.

Thank you.

And I thought I was clever when I pulled pranks involving Batman

2006-03-06T16:37:00.000-05:00

From: B-Line <b-line@binghamton.edu>
Subject: March 06, 2006

[...] An apparent prank on the second floor of Bingham Hall late Sunday, March 5, involved a bat. The University Health Service recommends that anyone who may have come into physical contact with this bat should contact the University Health Service at [...]

Definitely Winter

2006-02-15T20:17:00.000-05:00

Binghamton somehow missed the two feet of snow that hit everywhere else, which sucks a little bit, since I ski. I know it’s winter, though, because I got a static shock from tap water. At least there are some things I don’t have to worry about.

Party! Playlist

2006-02-05T01:37:00.000-05:00

I went through iTunes and picked out the songs I thought were appropriate. Then I shuffled until it felt right, and moved Bohemian Rhapsody to the end. Like?

Men Without Hats - Safety Dance
Daler Mehndi - Har Taraf Tera Jalwa
The Jam - Batman Theme
George Clinton - Play that Funky Music
MC Hammer - U Can’t Touch This
Radiohead - Idioteque
Dexy’s Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen
Elton John - Tiny Dancer
The Darkness - I Believe In a Thing Called Love
Caesars - Jerk It Out
Mates of State - Goods
Strokes - Last Night
Strawberry Alarm Clock - Incense and Peppermints
Red Hot Chili Peppers - On Mercury
The Jam - Town Clalled Malice
Daler Mehndi - Tunak Tunak Tun
Queen - We Are The Champions
Daler Mehndi - Saade Dil Te Churiyan Chaliyan
The Quick - All My Money’s Gone
Daler Mehndi - Na Na Na Re
Sublime - Date Rape
A-Ha - Take On Me
The Rapture - Sister Saviour (Blackstrobe Remix)
Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls
A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Catholic School Girls Rule
Wesley Willis - I Whipped Batman’s Ass
Daler Mehndi - Bolo Ta Ra Ra
The White Stripes - Fell In Love With A Girl
The Clash - I Fought The Law
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

Banana Waffle

2006-01-28T14:14:00.000-05:00

Ingredients:

Waffle batter - 1 styrofoam cupful
Pancake syrup * - 0 < amount < 1 bottle
Banana - 1

Directions:

Make waffle.
Pour syrup on waffle.
Mash banana over syrupy waffle.

* If you have access to Maple syrup, you’re quite lucky. I ate this with pancake syrup, though.

Class Schedule Hack

2006-01-23T22:50:00.000-05:00

At the beginning of a new semester you could print or write a schedule, but that piece of paper will soon be creased, sat on, filled with skin oils, and otherwise becrudded. Here’s my approach.

If you don’t know your cell phone’s e-mail address, look it up. Compose a new message to that address. Subject: Monday. Message body:

time
class
location
----
time
class
location
[...]

Repeat for Tuesday through Friday.

Your SMS inbox should now contain five new messages, each with a subject line of the day and a compact schedule within.

First Semester in Review

2006-01-21T01:27:00.000-05:00

This was good for me, so I’ll return the favor. A review of my first semester of college is better made now than never.

Academics

Engineering was pretty bad. Both teachers were clear, fair, and just nice guys, but the program and career do not appeal to me. That, and a couple specific problems.

A major part of the first semester engineering classes were two group assignments, which could have been quite rewarding had I not been in a group that I’m just not in the mood to rant about. If I wanted to rant, I could let a pretty huge one loose, but we ended on good terms, so I’ll just leave you guessing at the details. Of course, I can’t blame that stressful thoughts-of-murder–inducing experience on the engineering program, which is why I had to seriously think about changing course.

What I didn’t have to blink to realize was the inanity of about half of what we learned in first semester engineering, specifically the enormous focus on Microsoft Office. This is insulting for at least three reasons: (1) that we were tested on what a particular menu item or button does; that information is useless when Office 12 comes out, (2) that even if that information was lasting, they had nothing better to teach us, and (3) that I use OpenOffice.org. I’m sure the more advanced courses are much better about this sort of bullshit, but it’s probably a bad idea to design a course that leaves students with a taste of “What the fuck was that?”.

In the end, i.e. yesterday, I switched over to CS.

Calc II was hard; I passed, but badly.

Cell Bio was fun. It was a challenge at some points, since I hadn’t taken biology since eigth grade, but there was no stressful work—just studying and labs, and I ended up doing well in the class. It is not really in line with my studies, so I am glad I had a chance to dive a little bit deeper into bio than I had in school.

Russian for Russians was my most practical class. The class was very relaxed, and the teacher obviously cared most about the students learning, with all of the other things teachers tend to bother about, like grades, a far second. According to my parents, my spoken Russian improved, and now I’m mostly literate, which can’t hurt.

Campus Life

Beats living at home, except that my friends are all over the place. Frisbee is prevalent, and I joined the competitive team, in addition to just playing random games.

I live right next to the nature preserve, which is good for sanity. My building is quiet—anti-social, really—but there’s enough to take a break from, even there.

Sorry for the bore, but the interesting stories were cut from this general review. I told the better ones to friends in my month of vacation, and besides, they are the type of anecdote better told in private, or beyond a statute of limitations.

Lazy

2005-10-25T22:46:00.000-04:00

I read that Fall foliage usually peaks in mid-October. Throughout October there were beautiful colors, but I still saw too much green. Since I haven’t yet bought one of those fancy digital cameras, film photography being the pain that it is and I being as lazy as I am, put off shooting the nature preserve until it was ripe.

Today, October 25, it snowed. After lunch I grabbed my camera, knowing that while I probably will not get any traditional Fall photos this year, I have my first opportunity to shoot Fall colors against Winter snow. I turn the camera on and see , with no replacement.

Mud

2005-10-07T21:03:00.000-04:00

Into the shower, clothes on. I change from brown back to tan. I blow my nose and mud comes out. Washing the back of my head drips mud into my face. My chest, elbows, and knees have long red streaks along them, from sliding about 25 feet through course mud. Shower #2, no clothes, soap, shampoo. It stings when the soap touches my chest. There were rocks on the field, or puddle, whatever you want to call the playing area. Several hours later, my eye feels irritated. I pull my skin back, reach into the eye socket, and pull out dirt and grass.

These were fun games:

Mud ultimate
Mud sliding competition (tip: wear a shirt, or mud will slide up your shorts into the special area)
Mud fight
Mud freeze tag

Oh, yeah, I have this blog thing.

2005-09-04T19:15:00.000-04:00

To avoid writing about the summer, a classmate’s suicide, arrival at college, and the horrible state of New Orleans, I announce a retroactive hiatus from writing here.

Actually, let’s push that hiatus forward, too. I like the Web, so I’ll put stuff on this site or elsewhere, just don’t expect any regularity. Don’t expect anything, really.

Contact: I haven’t written much on this site for a while, but communication is still a good thing. After much resistance, I made one of those facebook profiles, which I said were pointless, but actually are useful for getting people’s phone numbers and screen names. Mine has my contact info and classes, if that interests you. If you’re not on Facebook, my AIM name is Ldrhcp and my email address is the same thing at gmail.com.

Orbit Melting: A Frank Discussion

2005-07-21T01:28:00.000-04:00

I am sometimes partial to chewing Orbit. A pack will typically last two weeks, spending much of that time in my pocket. Especially in the Summer months, it melts. I asked Brian how he copes with this, and his best advice was to change pockets, though he admitted that in the two to three days a pack stays in his pockets, it also melts. I mostly do not wear shirts with breast pockets, so until I become bored with the idea, my Summer goal has shifted from seeing This is Spinal Tap to designing and developing an insulated chewing gum wallet.

Plamegate

2005-07-19T15:35:00.000-04:00

May a pox fall upon the media that uses the -gate scandal naming convention to an extent such that I consider researching time travel to thwart Woodward and Bernstein's investigation.

Failure

2005-07-07T16:05:00.000-04:00

Where are we going?

Update: Apparently, nowhere too fast. The English are real tough.

16 Winding: The Website

2005-06-29T23:54:00.000-04:00

As I already showed some friends, I might as well announce it here now. I made the website for Mark's band, 16 Winding. Except for a few obviously unfinished parts, it is ready for public consumption.

My review of the process: PHP sucks, php.net rocks, as does NearlyFreeSpeech.Net, and the difficulty, as Mark will attest to, was with humans, not computers.

Oh yeah, I also graduated from high school a few days ago.

Things to Think About

2005-06-14T17:27:00.000-04:00

The air show was good fun. I was lazy and didn’t write about it until now, even though it happened on Memorial Day weekend, and now it’s June 14. I took pictures there and put twenty-seven of them on Flickr, even though you can only see twenty-six. Proof that I am lazy is that the pictures do not come with descriptions.

This one I want to describe, though. There is nothing there. Or is there? Contemplate it.

Jets are fast.

Jet Zen is about speed, but those that have never been to an air show should be told that jets are loud, too. The subsonic planes did some sweet stuff, but the thing that “you really have to be there to experience” is watching a jet fly by quietly and then hearing its monstrous roar not so hot on its trail.

Those planes are such an engineering marvel. I am ashamed to be so amazed, since I know that they exist to drop bombs on people.

Andrew made fun of me for having spell check in every corner of my computer. This is just damn entertaining:

The blood bank called me . [sic] They LOVE my blood. Im [sic] not even killing [sic], the nurse that took my blood was so happy to see my viens [sic] …

(Emphasis is mine.) Does this mean anything? Probably not.

Tomorrow is the last day of high school. I will see my closest friends over the summer, and then far less. A lot of people I will not see at all after tomorrow. Hmm.

"v4," and "Also"

2005-05-29T23:22:00.000-04:00

v4: As clear, this site had a makeover. Or, if I must stick with makeup metaphors, it had an exfoliation, as almost nothing is left.

Also: I went to the air show today, but the write-up will come no earlier than tomorrow.

Jones Beach Air Show

2005-05-26T21:23:00.000-04:00

As I will likely be attending the air show this weekend, I would like to know who is interested in coming.

Recently and Soon

2005-05-12T14:50:00.000-04:00

Notes in chronological order:

Hajime no Ippo is the second anime I am watching. (The first was Cowboy Bebop.) I only saw the first two episodes of Ippo so far, which were kind of cheesy and predictable, but otherwise good.
A critical security fix for Firefox was released, so everybody using it should go download and install version 1.04.
I finished the last of seven AP tests several minutes ago. The only class I have work in is now post-WWII history with Manning, which I took because it gives no work.
My brother will be back from Binghamton in a few hours.

Self Service Systems

2005-05-10T21:52:00.000-04:00

At the Y the other day, I noticed that locker 1 is labeled “Lost and Found.” This idea is so simple, it only qualifies as brilliant because I have never seen it anywhere before. The lost and found is usually hidden away behind somebody’s desk, which makes it far less effective. An accessible lost and found locker runs on the same principle as Wikipedia, a free community-edited encyclopedia, and other such “self service systems.”

Since 2001, the Wikipedia community has written the largest English encyclopedia, as well as encyclopedias in almost two hundred other languages and side projects that aim to catalogue all human knowledge. Wikipedia allows anybody with Web access to read and modify its content, which allowed it to grow large so quickly, and its web-based nature also makes it the timeliest encyclopedia in the world. The most amazing part of Wikipedia is that, even though anybody can very easily fill the encyclopedia with advertising, bias, obscenity, and other garbage, its pages are almost always accurate and well-written.

While probably more important than helping people find their missing gym shorts, Wikipedia works for the same reason the lost and found locker does. Assume that most people are good. This might be wrong, except that the systems can only work when most people do not want to cause harm, and they do work, so the assumption is at least right in a limited scope. Since these good people generally would not steal from the locker room or spam the encyclopedia, it is safe to use these systems. (The reason it is safe to have mostly good people instead of only good people is low opportunity cost: lost and found items are of little value, like a sweaty towel, and changes to the encyclopedia are tracked and reversible.)

These self service systems are not just safe—they are beneficial. In a typical lost and found setup, people are usually lazy. Most items lost are cheap, so returning them is not a top priority, especially when the loser is unknown. Being able to throw the fugitive shampoo bottle into a locker on your way out reduces the laziness barrier to zero. It is not good that people are so lazy, but there is no sense in denying it. Similarly, Wikipedia could have been a set of simple web pages, and if anybody wanted to change them or add to them they would have to email an administrator, but I think it is obvious that that would not work.

The Web abounds with other examples of self service systems, notably “folksonomy” organization on sites like del.icio.us and Flickr. Some cities such as London are experimenting with “naked street,” a traffic model that takes out all formal controls and trusts people to handle themselves on the road. Surprisingly (or not), this also seems to work.

Self service still has not penertated mainstream culture, which might be for the better in areas where the risk is higher, but it is definitely a powerful way to harness people to help each other. It is at least something to consider when designing interaction, whether in a club, on the Web, or in any other group situation.

Two Games

2005-05-06T17:25:00.000-04:00

I considered calling it "Frockey" or "Friskey." Justin likes "European Frockey." My favorite name, though, is "The Hosbies." Three-on-three Ultimate on a hockey rink, except instead of passing to a teammate in the end zone, you score by throwing the disc through the goal from one of the face-off circles.
This one is solitaire. Equipment: 1. can from macaroons (coffee would be suitable,) empty and topless; 2. clicky pen. Place the can on a table. Click the pen open, and press the clicker against the table, depressed. Slide the pen toward the can and release. Small scale basketball. If it becomes too easy, shoot three-pointers.

Credits: the guys for the first and a bored me for the second.

Update: Carl comes up with the best name: Canadian Frisbee.

More Russian Humor

2005-04-17T17:56:00.000-04:00

My dad tells me I have no sense of humor when he tells awful jokes, but he sometimes tells a gem. Here's another:

A man was quite the drunkard and would drink away all of his income. His wife eventually became so fed up with his drinking that she had to take the matter into her own hands. She decided to put a dead cat into his liquor to scare him away from the stuff for good. One day when the man was away, the wife went out, found some roadkill, put it into his vodka and went on her merry way. When she came home she saw her husband wringing the cat over his head begging "Kitty, just one more drop!"

HOWTO shamelessly copy my April Fool's vegetarian prank next year at college with new friends who don't know me

2005-04-03T21:49:00.000-04:00

Needed:

1 herbivore
1 omni- or carnivore

How it goes:

The Brian character breaks his four years of vegetarianism by ordering meat pizza.
The Lenny character orders eggplant parmigiana.
Amaze friend for the minutes between the order and the switcheroo and pronunciation of "April Fools!"

The Truth About Robotics

2005-04-01T17:48:00.000-05:00

We’ve kept it a secret just long enough. The time has come to reveal what the Oceanside Robotics Club has actually been working on for the past two months.

Skippy and FIRST had just been a diversion to prevent our secrets from leaking. But now that it seems to be stable, the world is ready to know: we have developed a small humanoid robot (“android”) that we hope can help with tasks around the school. We’ve already deployed it in a test physics class to help a disabled student.

I’ll be honest: Devin and Matt did the most work on this, which caused some tension, but I am proud of my contribution: the name. Our dummy bot was called “Skippy,” which isn’t bad, but I really wanted this name to be great. At first I thought “C-3PO,” but I figured that if we were going to take this to market, we have to avoid trademark infringement. That’s when it hit me, and I decided that it should be named as a tribute to an author that did so much to advance our field.

In honor of my favorite Shakespearian scholar, this new droid is called ISAA.

But what kind of unveiling would this be without some media to back it up? It would be no kind, so here is an exciting video of ISAA running. Enjoy the video as a symbol of the speed of technological advancement. By summer, we expect to have ISAA writing technical documents, and perhaps creative works such as April Fool’s jokes in another year’s development.

FIRST Roundup

2005-03-21T23:51:00.000-05:00

I don’t know about you, but when the robots take over the world, I certainly want to be on the winning team. Well, actually, or at least statistically, I do know about you, because we live in a democracy, damnit!, and your government believe that promoting the United States as a world leader in science and technology is a worthy effort.

Aside: Realistically, NASA, being a beurocracy, does not represent the majority of the population, so my statistics claim is a false one, but I like the rhetorical effect of a robotic apocalypse.

Farther Aside: (a) We live in a republic, not a democracy, damnit! (b) Our elected president from January 2001 to January 2005 did not represent a majority of the population, so this whole “taking over the world” analogy is faulty. I only include it because of its ridiculousness. The comic effect of the first sentence pushed me into a really bad analogy, because the sci/tech rallying effort I am describing is not even a government program, but recieves sponsorship from NASA.

After much ado, but without further of the same: the program is the FIRST robotics competition (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology.)

FIRST was founded by Dean Kamen, the Segway guy, a dozen or so years ago, with the aim of getting high school students interested in robotics. They host an annual robotics competition, playing a different game each year. This year’s game was Triple Play, which I won’t get too much into. Basically, robots move tetrahedral wireframe pyramids (“tetras”) onto larger tetrahedral goals, playing an overly complex game of team tic tac toe. There’s an autonomous mode (that is, the robots run without human control,) and a bunch of other stuff better explained by a video (S, M, L.)

This was our rookie year at the competition, which made our three days particularly eventful, but first…

Backstory: It all started a couple months ago. “Meet Skippy the Robot!” read the posters about the school. Well, those cartoon bots just hooked me, and so I ventured to the first meeting of the Oceanside High School Robotics Club. Skippy turned out to be a robot we borrowed from another school, though the one we built mysteriously took on the same name without question or even thought.

A few uneventful weeks went by; then we got our test robot kit, which was basically just a crude RC car, which was still pretty uneventful, though certainly more fun; and then we started building the game robot. My life continued mostly as before (I did stay late a couple times, and even came on a Sunday once,) but this was not the case for all. Some (read Devin and Matt) stayed to eleven o’clock (that is, 23:00) every night for a month turning a pile of aluminum into a (somewhat) functional machine.

Frontstory: The bot was built and shipped on schedule; yadda yadda yadda. There was even a terribly inaccurate article in the Herald about our teamwork. Now for the real excitement: the competition—forty teams ready for three action-packed days in the Hofstra arena.

Thursday: It worked before shipping on a hard rubbery gym floor. Our practice day brought trouble, though, since we learned that the carpeted arena floor provides too much traction for turning. Problem: too much traction. Solution: duct tape on the wheels. (Works like a charm.) Problem: Duct tape on the wheels is illegal. Solution: Paul: drive to the hardware store and buy water-based polyurethane to coat the wheels with before asking whether it is legal. Problem: It, too, is illegal, for reasons I cannot explain. Solution: Take the advice of those with experience and wrap zip ties across the tires. Meanwhile: Signal to six-hundred dollar computer dies; replacement borrowed on collateral of the infinitely generous Ed Wilenky’s credit card. He probably would have born the cost if needed, but thankfully we had no more computer troubles.

Later on Thursday: We did not expect to pass inspection. Not surprisingly, we did not pass inspection. Our four bathroom scales told us that our robot was under the 120-pound limit, but the more accurate competition balance said otherwise. We missed our afternoon matches fanatically drilling and unsafely sawzalling.

Silver lining: Sticking to the principle of KISS (Keap It Simple, Stupid,) we were able to have a very effective autonomous mode of operation: turn and swing the arm. We had no fancy vision systems and we did not try to go for more than the one easiest point to score in autonomous mode.

More Failure: After rotating the robot around the balance, we found a 120.0 sweet spot, allowing the inspector to pass us on weight and point out our other flaws. At the end of the practice day, we learned that our wires were of non-standard colors and must be completely redone. Also, the pneumatic portion of our arm had to be equipped with a safety valve that effectively crippled half of the arm, not to mention adding extra weight.

Friday: The first day of real competition started bright and early, with the bringing of Skippy up to standards. We missed the first two matches, but we completed the important milestone of eventually passing inspection.

Not So Easy From There (Friday/Saturday; I cannot recall which.) The robot was ready for competition, except things kept breaking. First one half of the arm stopped moving. Then the other half suffered the same fate. Through all the trouble, we did manage to score a few points. Even Matt, our most pessimistic leader, was happy with our final round.

The Letdown: Just kidding. We did not expect to advance, and indeed we did not. As a rookie team, we were happy to compete.

The second half of Saturday was spent watching the top twenty-four teams, which we were not part of. It was quite exciting, though my favorite, Tetanator, did not reach the finals.

The Drama: I am no judge of drama, so I will provide a few quotations and let you, the reader, decide whether it was worthy of reality television. These are paraphrased.

“If you are not doing anything, get the fuck out of the pit!”
“If I did not give you explicit permission to be here, get the fuck out of the pit!”
And, of course, “Get the fuck out of the pit!”

The guys are otherwise a good bunch, but the stress was high, and by my assessment there was a wee bit of tension at some points.

What I Learned: The deadline was too pressing to learn any serious engineering lessons, but I guess I learned the value of management, which we had absolutely none of. I reserve the right to make Dilbert-esque jokes at any future dead-end manager-hating jobs I may have, but seeing some of the giant, happy teams at the event gave me an appreciation for organization.

“Gracious Professionalism” is the FIRST philosophy, and every team there lived up to it. Our competition was too eager to help us and each other. If you are at all interested, study engineering and you will be happy working every day with people like these.

Weeks of toil (mostly other people’s) and a hell of a lot of pissing each other off came to an anti-climactic finish last Saturday at noon. Would I go through with this again? Absolutely. I wish team 1554, Oceanside High School, the best of luck in its second year. And I wish the United States—nay, the whole world—the best of luck in fighting off the conquerer robots.

FIRST report, bearing little news

2005-03-19T23:26:00.000-05:00

Three days of robotics left me unwilling to write more than a quote, though I will likely say more about the competition in this space later. (Alternative: I am too lazy to write more.) For now, this was on a sign by the sound board:

The DJ is not currently taking requests. Thank You. P.S. I am not the DJ.

News from 3.14

2005-03-14T14:13:00.000-05:00

Feeling shitty and missing school today, I shudder to think of the celebrations I must be missing.

Beautiful Leading

2005-03-06T21:48:00.000-05:00

It is night and I am tired and I am writing an economics term paper, when an angel in the guise of a word processor feature reveals itself and reminds me that I had not turned on double spacing. Suddenly, the four pages of meticulous analysis ahead of me become a half-assed two.

Combat Afternoon Weariness

2005-03-03T21:05:00.000-05:00

Justin writes:

I’ve been taking too many naps lately... I need to start on caffeine or something. Talk to you all later. Peace.

I never intentionally take afternoon naps, though I sometimes (rarely) become tired and just pass out at about five o’’clock (more on this later.) This happened more a year or three ago—I have been pretty good lately.

Some bashfully non-scientific** notes:

You can become dependent on caffeine.
I read somewhere that the afternoon sleepies are like a sugar crash, except it is from the complex carbohydrates in your lunch instead of from simple sugars in candy, so it takes a longer time to realize. A banana fights this.
Any sort of exercise will get oxygen running through you. Ideally, one would play ultimate after school, but this can be as little as getting up and swinging your arms about a bit if the only desired effect is alertness.
Go to sleep earlier! You may think that you don’t need much sleep, which is true if you just need to stay up one night and make it through your next day, but if you go to sleep late every day for a few weeks, you will be sleepy in the afternoon. If you’re getting microsleep before 10–11 PM, you’re probably spending too much time on AIM in the wee hours.

I promised information on the passing out. This generally occurs in the room in my house directly above the boiler room. If I keep the door and windows closed, it get’s quite hot, and I start microsleeping. Before I know it, I’m gone. If you notice a similar effect, try moving your operations in the short term, and sleeping more at night in the long term.

** I have no studies supporting what I said. It is a collection of things I picked up here and there and my own observations of myself when I don’t sleep and exercise enough.

i stream. concious?

2005-02-07T20:43:00.000-05:00

Nineties week on K-Rock and I cleaned my room. Holy crap I can see my desk and chair and I found seven guitar picks and photo projects from last year and my eighth grade biology binder. Real radio instead of this, that, this.

1-800

2005-02-06T01:06:00.000-05:00

Via Sam:

Dial 1-800-555-8355 (1-800-555-TELL).
Say "blackjack."
Try not to go over your allotted minutes saying things like "yesh" or "hit me, Trebeck" to your dealer.

Uncensored

2005-01-05T22:53:00.000-05:00

Unipeak is a nice web-proxy that I use at school because the administration seems to believe that automated censorship based on things like “.exe” or “.zip” or “.flash-game-that-is-blocked-only-after-being accessed-once-or-twice” is effective at keeping the computers safe.

Never mind that this policy does not prevent me from downloading software, nor did it prevent people from just breaking into the school at night and stealing the seemingly safe computers. But this isn’t about the school, damnit! It’s about Unipeak!

Yesterday I discovered** Unipeak’s “member” section. Though I have already used (and will continue to use) witty punctuation such as quotation marks, asterisks, and many-words-hyphenated-like-this in this write-up more than most would like me to, I use quotation marks around the word “member” because accessing it requires only knowledge of its address: http://www.unipeak.com/member/.

** “Discovered” here means, “followed a clearly marked hyperlink from the front page.”

Ignoring the de facto standard of requiring users to log in after registering for a service (thus proving that they have indeed registered) has the salutary effect of also letting people who have not registered use it freely. There are two perks I have noticed so far in being a part of this exclusive**** club.

**** “Exclusive” is the “New Russian,” that is, Mafia-esque Brooklyn-resident, term for “I have bling bling.” I use two and four asterisks because they are more clickable. In print I would use one and two.

The first, and most important advantage, is that “members” are above advertising, so there is none of that malarkey. Second, “members” get a special Unipeak browser, which is occasionally useful.

But if you register in the next ten minutes, you get this special offer! I whipped up a “Unipeak this” bookmarklet. Add the Unipeak this bookmarklet to your bookmarks bar or equivalent and, well, you know the rest.

No matter how much of an ass I muster myself to be, I cannot (yet) match genius, so I ask ye to follow Twain’s advice, and “never let [your] schooling get in the way of [your] education.”

The Thing to Do

2005-01-04T21:40:00.000-05:00

Tsunami Relief : Where to Give

Mozilla Tip Monday

2004-12-06T17:27:00.000-05:00

A great feature in Firefox is the search box, which let's you send a search to almost any engine without loading the front page. I can normally press Ctrl+K, type the terms, hit Enter, and jump to Google's results.

However, I also have search plugins for Acronym Finder, Webster Dictionary, Webster Thesaurus, and, most importantly, Wikipedia. Switching engine, I had thought, entailed moving my hand off the keyboard and onto the mouse, then pointing at the top-right corner, clicking, selecting the engine, moving my hands back to the keyboard, typing the terms, and only then hitting Enter and being taken to a page of results.

No longer! When the search box is focused (Ctrl+K'd,) use Ctrl+Up or Ctrl+Down to scroll through search engines. Useful, eh?

Binghamton Application Discrimination Snafu

2004-11-28T20:07:00.000-05:00

A little note at the bottom of the Binghamton Part 2 application:

Binghamton University is strongly committed to affirmative action. We offer access to services and recruit students and employees without regard to race, color, gender, religion, age, disability, marital status, sexual orientation or national origin.

Disclaimer: This is not an accusation of anything more than a Binghamton lawyer having their foot in their mouth. Humor is the name of the game.

prgmGOVGRADE

2004-11-15T17:23:00.000-05:00

Friday was the end of the first marking period, and we were, as expected, discussing grades in gov. Here’s the theory I proposed to Adam as to how grades are determined:

Roll a ten-sided die
Add that to:
- 90 if you are a brown-nose
- 80 if you are average
- 70 if you are on the shit list

This idea came about near the end of that period, so I could not immediately implement it, but rest-assured, by the middle of the next period I had punched this into my calculator:

1→C
While C
Disp ""
Disp "WHAT STANDING"
Disp "ARE YOU IN WITH"
Disp "KOSSAKOF?"
Disp " 1 - BROWN-NOSE"
Disp " 2 - AVERAGE"
Disp " 3 - SHIT-LIST"
Input "",S
If S=1 or S=2 or S=3
Then
0→C
End
End
If S=1
Then
90→D
Else
If S=2
Then
80→D
Else
70→D
End
End
Disp "YOUR GRADE IS"
D+randInt(0,9)

Fake Voting

2004-11-02T11:08:00.000-05:00

Since I can't vote at all, and certainly not for several people, I am casting my fake vote:

Google Cache Bookmarklet

2004-10-21T21:32:00.001-04:00

Bookmarklets are fun. This one gets Google's cached version of the page you're on. Add it to your bookmarks/links bar:

Google cached

Update: Mozilla users should use the special version.

Special features, besides just sending the URI to Google:

Checks for non-HTTP(S) URIs, which Google does not cache.
Asks, when appropriate, whether or not to send the query string (the part after the question mark.)
Properly handles fragment links (the part after the number sign) so you can go to the same bookmarked place on a cached page as on the original.

Update: Special for Mozilla Users: If you land on a Net error page, this will determine the originating URL and ask Google for that instead of the chrome://... garbage. You know the drill: Google cache +FL

Make Readable Bookmarklet

2004-10-11T15:59:00.000-04:00

Do you ever view the printer friendly format of a web page to get rid of the ads and clutter, just to suffer a long, wide, unstyled pain in the ass to read? I do at the New York Times, so I decided to act on it.

The Bookmarklet: Make readable

Drag that link to your bookmark/links toolbar, hit it when on an ugly page, and watch as the page is automagically made more readable. Your eyes will thank you.

Disclaimer: This does not work in Internet Explorer.

Disclaimer 2: This makes low-style pages like New York Times printer-friendly ones prettier, but will screw up more complex pages. A reload will bring it back to normal.

Our Favorite Firefox Extensions

2004-09-23T17:25:00.000-04:00

People who vote for John Kerry this November will do so because they do not like Bush, and then they will wait and see if they actually end up liking Kerry. People switch to Firefox from Internet Explorer because of viruses, adware, and other nasties that plague IE, but stay because it has really sweet features.

One of these is extensions: little (or sometimes big) pieces of software that add something to the overall browser. There are hundreds of these that anybody may make, but here are the ones I use. Feel free to add a comment with your own favorites.

Mouse Gestures: A flick of the mouse anywhere on the page does common actions, like back, forward, refresh, close, and so on.
Web Developer Toolbar: This provides some useful things for making web pages. Most of these features exist in the form of bookmarklets, so I don’t use it much (that and I do not make web pages that often.)
Link Toolbar: Some handy navigation, like next or previous in a sequence of pages.
CuteMenus: Who isn’t a sucker for cute things? This adds pretty pictures to menus.
BugMeNot extension: Automatically fills in login forms from BugMeNot (a very cool website that I won’t discuss now, but is worth checking out if you don’t know what it is.)
miniT (drag+indicator): Probably the ugliest name in extensions but insanely simple and useful, this one lets you move tabs.
~~Nuke Anything~~: ~~Remove anything (read: ads) from the page until refresh.~~
LiveHTTPHeaders: Another Web nerd one: read the HTTP headers with the other page info, or as they come in.

There’s something for everyone! Anything I missed?

Update: more extensions as they come in: (added to the list after original writing)

AdBlock: Terrible UI, but it gets the job done. I bulk imported my hosts file (with a bit of regex-search-and-replace jiggering).
Show Image: Adds the option to the context menu to try to load an image if it failed to load the first time. Rarely useful, but it is only in the menu when needed, so it is not extension clutter.
Spellbound: Web form spellchecking. I just ran it over this post.
~~Context Search~~: ~~Instead of "select text, right click, search web" using the default search engine (Google,) it opens a menu offering all of your search plugins.~~ Use Web search plus instead.
Show Failed URL: When error pages are enabled, shows the originating URI instead of the real URI (chrome://... garbage.) I had previously been using a home-brewed bookmarklet (Get failed-load URI.) Note that this does not actually change the URI of the error page, so my Google cache +FL bookmarklet still works.
~~User agent switch~~: ~~Defeat browser detection.~~ Bugs
Popup Allow: Hold Caps Lock and view a popup that would otherwise get blocked.
Greasemonkey: User scripts (requires geeky prowess.)
~~Aardvark~~: ~~Swiss Army page manipulator.~~ Platypwned.
Customize Google: Bunch of Google Greasemonkey scripts compiled into an extension.

Like Putting on a Hot Shirt from the Dryer

2004-09-13T15:53:00.000-04:00

The astute reader will have noticed the Fresh Links item in the right-side navigation menu of this site. I am going to stop using the brief link-list form of post I introduced a few months ago with the last redesign. It was an ugly hack that only half-worked, so instead I am using del.icio.us to manage my bookmarks. This probably means more links, though you must now visit another site (sorry) and its visuals are pretty unappealing, to say it gently.

This change is really for myself, since it is much easier to manage. If you value my taste in websites, go ahead and check it out. If not, be happy that those links are gone from in between the essays and notes.

In Memoriam

2004-09-12T21:31:00.000-04:00

You could see the lights yesterday from Long Island, and I got a better view coming home through the city from Lehigh.

2004-09-08T21:52:00.000-04:00

autogenerate passwords - a bit of cryptographic genius

Hitting Home

2004-09-07T18:48:00.000-04:00

First Lieutenant Ronald Winchester, son of Mrs. Winchester, a gym teacher at my school, died in Iraq on September 3.

2004-08-18T01:30:00.000-04:00

more bikes against bush arrest tomfoolery (from the dude himself)
school schedule updated
bikes against bush dude arrested
justin is a ninja
bikes against bush - saw this one in posci a little while ago...here's the website

Senior Schedule: Six of Eighteen Free, Baby!

2004-08-17T15:41:00.000-04:00

~~I plan on changing this, since I have four free first semester and two last (sucks,) but this is it as of yet. This page will change as necessity strikes.~~ Updated Period 8

Period	Day 1	Day 2	Day 1	Day 2
	Semester 1		Semester 2
1	AP Calculus AB, McMullan, N135
2	Free
3	Gym	Chem	Gym	Chem
4	AP Chemistry, Spinelli, N216
5	Free
6	Free		Am Hist Post-WWII, Manning, N200B
7	AP Eng Lit, Skinner, N200A
8	~~Free~~ AP Gov, Kossakov, S210		~~AP Gov, Kossakov, S210~~ Free
9	AP Economics, Ehrman, N214

2004-08-12T16:39:00.000-04:00

Henri Cartier-Bresson dead at 95

2004-08-05T13:09:00.000-04:00

Henri Cartier-Bresson, the photographer who gave this world Magnum, the small camera, “the decisive moment,” and photojournalism as we know it, died in his home country of France at the age of 95.

USAPATRIOT Act: Fighting Terrorism One TV Fan Community at a Time

2004-08-03T15:15:00.000-04:00

Whoever still thinks that the USAPATRIOT Act is a necessary precaution and that only those who have something to hide (i.e. terrorists) care about civil rights is dead wrong. As a huge breach of Constitution-protected rights, quickly pushed through Congress in 2001 in the wake of 9/11 and intended to stop any further attacks, the Act seemed to me, among others, too much of a civil rights sacrifice with too great a potential for abuse.

One of MoveOn.org’s Bush in 30 Seconds ads featured a man named Al Keyda who is detained indefinitely after a job interview with some paranoid woman, followed by the words, “It’s not likely, but it’s legal—thank you, Patriot Act.” Well, they were right about it being legal, but even liberal advocates and advertisers could not forsee this one: the Act was invoked against a Stargate SG1 fan site for copyright infringement.

The FBI raided the site’s creator’s home, seizing thousands of dollars in computer equipment, and forced his ISP to reveal his financial records. Copyright law deserves a discussion of its own, but whether the site really was infringing or not does not matter: the fourth amendment should not be bypassed, especially under the terms of a law that knowingly gives up personal freedoms so that innocents are not killed. The government has to deal with terrorism in a way that does not trample upon its citizens.

Our government is whoring itself to business interests (war profiteering, ridiculous copyright/patent/anti-circumvention rules, etc.) through scare tactics. Why are Homeland Security and National Security considered two separate issues? Why are we on Orange Alert?

But despite the corruption around our current administration, it’s still so shocking to see the USAPATRIOT Act go form zero to abuse completely outside the realm of security, war, or racism in such a short time.

2004-07-20T23:29:00.000-04:00

Notes

2004-07-15T22:49:00.000-04:00

Justin has the Phantom Planet pics (one, two, three), in all their lo-fi glory. That last one is Alex Greenwald scaling a wall.
Try to solve the Google billboard puzzle. I got the basics down, and my mom helped with optimizations, solving it in four-hundred eighty or so seconds of computing. Answer and Python source available at request—will (probably) eventually be posted somewhere on the web. I will try part two of the puzzle in the coming days.

2004-07-10T01:03:00.000-04:00

j2se 1.50 renamed j2se 5.0

Uncatered-To Mood

2004-07-03T21:59:00.000-04:00

I am in a SportsCenter-Funk mood. How I got this mood I do not know, but the world is against me. This is the first time I wanted to turn on SportsCenter on my own, yet this is one of the few hours of the day when it is not on. I also want to listen to some ϋber-funky music—specifically Freaky Styley, but the guest wants The Guest. My once-in-a-lifetime mood is gone!

2004-06-10T23:11:00.000-04:00

hacking las vegas
is your son a computer hacker? does he use an amd chip? does he use illegal programs like lunix, mp3, or telnet? did you ever catch him reading the cathedral and the bazaar? is he fed up with aol? he must be a terrorist! (probably fake)
disney's cleaner, safer, air-launched fireworks
google engineer's 17,259-word computer-generated palindrome
nickelback sucks
paris considers suv ban

Useless Crap Not Worth Reading or Writing About

2004-06-08T16:51:00.000-04:00

Fortune: "Some men dream of fortunes, others dream of cookies. Lucky Numbers 4, 15, 16, 24, 36, 45"

That was real.

It's Free Iced Coffee Day at Dunkin' Donuts.

2004-06-05T13:24:00.000-04:00

tontie

Cruelty can be so funny

2004-06-04T19:49:00.000-04:00

In a joint effort, Brian, Mark, Connor, and I gave Justin a run for his monkey. It all began in when Justin stupidly trusted us enough to leave his room. Something always happens, but this time instead of Brian or Mark being destructive, we decided to give Justin a friendly gift. The players:

The Visionary: Brian came up with the idea of Mark stripping for Justin.
The Photog: Connor was in charge of stealing Justin's camera-phone and snapping the pic.
The Techie
: I was in charge of figuring out how to post the picture to Justin's moblog, and then to leave Justin a little note.
The Beefcake: Mark, in all his glory, without a shirt

The result: studly Mark on Justin's site and his wallpaper.

But the cruel part came yet: we ate his food while he was gone!

2004-05-30T15:04:00.000-04:00

Red Bull and related notes

2004-05-30T00:02:00.000-04:00

Wikipedia redesigned.
Red Bull got my leg shaking, but it certainly did not give me wings.
Taurine
It tastes aweful.
I should drink a lot of it one day. Maybe one can per period in school
Maybe not

For those of you that love in jokes

2004-05-29T00:00:00.000-04:00

Because there just aren't enough emo kids

Just put this code in your weblog:
<p><img src="http://www.unipeak.com/gethtml.php?_u_r_l_=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5nZW9jaXRpZXMuY29tL2xkcmhjcC9taXNjL2Vtby5naWY=" alt="Up with Emo"><br><a href="http://bloglenny.blogspot.com/2004/05/for-those-of-you-that-love-in-jokes.html">Because there just aren't enough emo kids</a></p>

See how simple it is to piss off Justin?

2004-05-24T22:14:00.000-04:00

still to be known as south carolina

Help me with an article

2004-05-22T19:39:00.000-04:00

I am writing an article for the Sider Press, the Oceanside High School newspaper. The article is about the morning traffic problem. If you attend the school, please fill out these survey questions, and if you want to help me some more, please send me an instant message (Ldrhcp@AIM) and give me some quotables.

Some of these questions may not be applicable to you based on your answers to other questions. Please answer whichever questions apply to you as best you can.

How do you get to school?
Is there too much traffic coming to school?
If it meant alleviating the traffc problem, would you take a bus to school instead of your current method of transportation?
If you depend on somebody to bring you to school, do you think that they would rather have a bus available to you?
Should all students outside a certain perimeter be offered transportation to school?
Any other comments?
May I quote you in the article?

Please leave your answers in a comment.

2004-05-18T16:43:00.000-04:00

Ye Olde Comments

2004-05-12T15:46:00.000-04:00

One of the changes I made to this site when Blogger added some features a couple days ago was that I am now using on-site comments. To accommodate, the template was changed, removing my old Haloscan comment links. Haloscan had served me well, but it was time to move on.

The problem, now, is that all of that great discussion (I exaggerate just a bit) is lost in cyberspace.

Worry no more! Introducing the Old Comments Bookmarklet. With a single click of the mouse, links to old discussions appear next to every post. This automagical piece of Javascript works on Mozilla and Opera, and probably a few others that have not been tested. Sorry, Explorers, but I do not feel like debugging my code to work in a sub-par browser. Think of this as marketing, though if somebody actually does figure out how to fix it, I would probably accept a patch, or at least offer both versions.

For those of you that do indeed have standard-compliant browsers, all you have to do is add the Old Comments for Lenny's Weblog link to your bookmarks, and click it on any archive page.

Whoosh! With practically no effort on your part, you suddenly have an elegant link reading "Old Comments", even spaced properly with a '|'.

This happens to be the first bookmarklet of any complexity that I have ever written. For those of you that care, here is the whitespaced and commented source code.

// (c) 2004, by Lenny Domnitser. GPL'd.

// select all divs
divs = document.getElementsByTagName('div');

// loop through all divs
for(var c = 0; c < divs.length; c++) {

  // only keep divs that are posts (i.e. are the string "post" followed by numbers)
  if(divs[c].hasAttribute('id') && divs[c].getAttribute('id').match(/^post\d+$/) != null) {

    // the paragraph with the comment information is the third child node
    var infoPara = divs[c].childNodes[3];

    // comments are only for full posts (i.e. class == 'info'),
    // not just lists of links (i.e. class == 'miniinfo')
    if(infoPara.getAttribute('class') == 'info') {

      // the post id. could have defined this before to save code space. too lazy to change.
      var id = divs[c].getAttribute('id');

      // create the link
      var anchor = document.createElement('a');

      // construct the haloscan URL based on the id (see couple of lines back)
      anchor.setAttribute('href', 'http://www.haloscan.com/comments.php?user=ldrhcp&comment=' + id.substring(4, id.length));

      // make it a popup
      anchor.setAttribute('onclick', 'javascript:open(href, \'_blank\', \'width = 420, height = 500, resizable, scrollbars\'); return false');

      // give it link text
      anchor.appendChild(document.createTextNode('Old Comments'));

      // add the spacer and the link to the paragraph
      infoPara.appendChild(document.createTextNode(' | '));
      infoPara.appendChild(anchor);
    }
  }
}

Improved Blogger → Improved Blog

2004-05-11T17:58:00.000-04:00

This site has taken advantage of some of Blogger's new features. I haven't worked out all of the kinks yet, but it already seems better.

2004-05-07T18:12:00.000-04:00

that makes 4 converts
huge blogger relaunch - i will soon change my site accordingly
mario via guitar [windows media]

Doncol

2004-05-07T17:38:00.000-04:00

Join the Donnie Collins Fan Club

Obligatory Justin-Pleaser

2004-05-05T20:38:00.000-04:00

This is what happens when you hang out with Justin and Beja when they tell you they have nothing to do. From flying (my idea, but perfected by Beja) to mentoring a nine-year-old with a wicked 'tude to playing on the big-toy, it's always a riot.

Update: More photograpgic goodies

2004-04-30T23:41:00.000-04:00

horsey hats - i guess this deserved a link a couple days ago
holy shit! it's real!

Mystery Sound

2004-04-30T18:45:00.000-04:00

I recorded a mystery sound. That was the easy part. Now you have the responsibilty of guessing what that sound is.

Notes on things most would not recognize

2004-04-28T23:34:00.001-04:00

Liz: “I lost my thought, but I swear it was good.”
Mark mounting a sleeping Charlie
Craig: “Are we starting a new unit in gym?”
I was first pick for 2004 gym softball season, due to Justin’s eugenic team formation. As captain (yowza!) Justin selected me, then Beja and Craig. I still cannot feel complete until we steal Alex Roth and crew from the other teams.
I won the impossible coin-dropping game at Taco Hut!

I also got some direction in the college process. I am quite interested in Lehigh, a medium-sized school about an hour north of Philadelphia.

I apologize for the LiveJournal-style briefing.

2004-04-23T17:49:00.000-04:00

Enter Mailman

2004-04-23T16:26:00.000-04:00

As I log into Blogger to edit this site, I see:

As an active Blogger user, we would like to invite you to be one of the first to try out Google's new email service, Gmail.

Would you like to give it a whirl? YES / NO

Pretty cool, I would say. I never knew how people were selected for beta testing. It turns out they are targeting people who use their other services and would create hype about Gmail. Well, they have succeeded, since clearly by posting this I am spreading the word.

The interface seems very good and fast. Though they do discrminate against the blind and Javascript-less, I will probably use it anyway.

I cannot give much of a review since I am not a heavy email user, but I am sure you can turn to a web search for that.

If you want to send me a message there, the address is the username "Ldrhcp" at the domain "gmail.com".

2004-04-14T19:04:00.000-04:00

Evangelism

2004-04-14T17:22:00.000-04:00

Justin switched to Mozilla Firefox due to some sort of persistent crash bug in Internet Explorer that had been nagging him, and after I have long been trying to convince him to use Mozilla, he has accepted Firefox as the better browser.

All is well, but now the missionary has come about in Justin. Not content with just using the browser, he must now spread the gospel of Firefox. In his post, he urges everybody to switch, specifically to his case because he likes the assortment of powerful extensions available.

I have reason to want others to use a standard compliant browser because I code web pages. Internet Explorer's stubborn lack of support for technologies like CSS1 and Javascript, both published as formal web standards in 1996, nearly a decade ago, combined with its inexplicably high marketshare (inexplicably meaning the U.S. did not find Microsoft to be a monopoly) are very frustrating when trying to make a decent web design.

Justin, on the other hand, just loves the UI. He could hardly care less about a shit renderer as long as he can see web pages (usually tailored toward Internet Explorer only because of market share). What brought him in was at first a bug, but what kept him liking Firefox was an excellent interface. Justin's choice was based on the way he uses the browser, not how anybody else uses their's.

In other words, I am a printer, whereas Justin is an evangelist.

Scenario One

Me (playing the printer): Praise the lord!
Peasant: Praise the lord!
Me: Here's a Bible—first one's on the house.
Peasant: Praise the lord!
Me: Tell your friends about Jesus. And the Bible. Mention the Bible. And me. Meanwhile, can I interest you in some dime novels?

Scenario Two

Justin (as the evangelist): Praise the lord!
Peasant: Praise the lord!
Justin: Praise the lord!
Peasant: Praise the lord!
Justin: Praise the lord!
Peasant: Praise the lord!
Justin: Praise the lord!
Peasant: Praise the lord!
Justin: Praise the lord!
Peasant: Praise the lord!
Justin: Praise the lord!

Justin has turned into a born-again Christian. He was saved, and now everybody has to hear about it.

Well, maybe not a Christian, but Mozilla is a religion. Point Mozilla or one of its derivitives (Firefox, Netscape) at about:mozilla and you will get a passage from the Book of Mozilla. For those of you lacking such a browser, I recommend using one, but in case you for some reason cannot use one or you just want to see the text immediately, here is a transcript:

And so at last the beast fell and the unbelievers rejoiced. But all was not lost, for from the ash rose a great bird. The bird gazed down upon the unbelievers and cast fire and thunder upon them. For the beast had been reborn with its strength renewed, and the followers of Mammon cowered in horror.

from The Book of Mozilla, 7:15

Of course, no religion is complete without an adversary, because any other situation would mean that the Messiah had already come. Visiting the same address (about:mozilla) is Internet Explorer shows a friendly blue screen. It is a joke from when Mozilla was the project code name for Netscape, and since Netscape and Microsoft were in direct competition, the Microsoft developers claimed that Netscape caused a blue screen of death (system crash).

Where shall I begin disclaiming this? I certainly will not say that old versions of Netscape were any good, because they certainly were not, but how about the fact that Microsoft built an operating system so prone to crashes (Windows 95 [Ed. (me) – * shudders *]) that users should associate a solid blue background for a web page with a total crash. And isn't the OS partially at fault for Netscape's crashes? One thing I know is that when an application crashes it is isolated to that specific application, but when Internet Explorer crashes it restarts Windows Explorer.

Old browsers aside, Mozilla is currently extremely stable. Version 1.7b, which I am using now, is extremely stable, and it's a beta. The current "stable branch" is pretty much completely crash-bug free, which despite being an older, more tortoise-esque browser, is still years ahead of the latest Internet Explorer, and is much more stable. Firefox, a browser that has not even had its 1.0 release yet, it being accepted as the browser of choice by people like Justin.

In summary, to be a good Christian:

Thou shalt attend church.
Thou shalt not steal software—just use the open-source Mozilla.
Thou shalt spread the gospel, whether you code or browse.
And finally: Thou shalt have no browser besides the lizard.

And as a side note: this was originally going to be a short link-list style post. I think I went a bit over the top, but I too am a religious man.

2004-04-10T22:34:00.000-04:00

mozilla bittorrents
i wish i had some of that
note to self: look at birds before next web design
free adware! new marketing ploy - install adware on your machine and view partner websites without banner ads
top ten reasons to lower the voting age

Erections!

2004-04-08T18:17:00.000-04:00

Craig writes:

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible" says Jeff.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

"I kicked her in the face."

This reminds me of another joke I heard recently (via Natalie):

A Jew with an erection walks into a wall. What happens? — He breaks his nose.

2004-04-07T16:21:00.000-04:00

Tyson the stakeboarding bulldog

Merry Pesach

2004-04-05T20:37:00.000-04:00

If I manage to leaven bread by putting dough on my back and walking around the desert for a while, am I allowed to eat it on Passover?

Not OK

2004-04-01T16:22:00.000-05:00

If you do not know Mark Alexander or do not know what happened, please do not read this post. I understand that this is a public weblog, but this post is not meant for public consumption. Things in it may seem vague if you are ignorant to recent events because I respect the family’s privacy and will not divulge things that are better kept within a circle of friends. This is in the news, but I will not provide a link. My choice to be discreet is better characterized by Brian, who gave the finger to Channel 12.

I was not sure if I should be writing this, so I checked Justin’s weblog. He wrote about it. His post is a bit more erratic. It was earlier. Things were still developing.

Who am I kidding? I didn’t even know her, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. It really hasn’t settled down since Justin’s writing.

I decided that it was my duty to write this because I had to acknowledge what occurred. It would not be right to go on as if nothing happened, so even though I do not want anybody besides Justin or Lippy (or another of Mark’s friends who reads my weblog—none that I know of) to read this, my choice is between abandoning weblogging forever or to write this against my better judgment.

The hardest thing for me was telling people. I verified what Craig and Alex had heard, but more difficult was telling my parents and Sam, who had no idea what had happened. I had to bring it up with them because they deserved to know. Each time the word—the word of the deed—came out, my voice faltered.

I felt awful since I found out from Justin yesterday, so I can barely imagine what Mark must be going through.

Your friends love you, Mark.

He is such a great guy. I did not know her, but from what I hear they were very similar. When I learned of this I was afraid Mark would lose his spark. I waited until I got home from school to call him. Calling was made easier by the extraordinary combination of his friends and his own will. Brian had left school and spent the day with him, he invited a few people this afternoon who are currently with him, and he made plans for a movie tomorrow night.

My short chat with him was true to what Brian had said. He was handling his predicament as well as anybody could. More than any emotion, he was grateful for friends reaching out to him. Even after talking to Brian, I expected more sorrow. It seemed unnatural, but he was already numb to the pain. He told me that he had cried earlier.

I could not help but think about September 11. I felt the same way. In either case I only knew people who knew people. From my distance, the death was not of people, but of an integral part of life. What do you mean the Twin Towers fell? How can they not exist anymore if they always had and always were to stand tall and proud as a symbol of the city and its people? How can Mark not have her anymore? How can this core part of one’s being disappear from their life?

It is so frustrating that what happened is over and done with. There is nothing anybody can do—nothing anybody can say. All we have is each other, and we are all useless. The canvas of the past is still so recent and raw in our hearts and minds, but the devil is holding our paints and is laughing as we reach with our brushes. We all want to help Mark, but he cannot even help himself. All anybody can do is continue to live.

2004-03-25T23:35:00.000-05:00

Six Ways to Look Up

2004-03-25T22:16:00.001-05:00

I
She stands beside him
As the meteor cuts through the fog.
The grass is cold and wet and
They are tired and dreaming
But the sky is in flames.

II
He is fixated upon the bird,
Binoculars permanently to his eyes
And neck permanently tilted back.
He follows for several hours,
Then trips.

III
He looks up from his pile of books
Across the room.
She continues buried.

IV
The bird flies overhead.
The path it walks has not yet been broken.
Thorns stick to its foot.
It looks up and smiles to be among the worms.

V
He mixes his paints
and creates the sky he sees.
Night falls and he takes a new canvas
And he mixes his paints again
and creates the sky he had seen.

VI
He reads but does not understand.
The worst way to look up is to
Look down and not know it.

Re: Re: Godless Nation

2004-03-25T21:40:00.000-05:00

In a comment to a previous post Lippy wrote:

You know Lenny, this is surprisingly an issue I feel strongly about. I think that too few people have a concept of God and that if people were less secular and had more faith society as a whole would be better. I think that saying whatever you want to say is protected by amendment numero uno, and that a wrod, does not make people change. Just saying under god does not mean that you will soon be baptized by a priest. Just to say a word is harmless. I think these days too many people are backlashing against religion, just becuase they dont like their lives.

My response was too long for non-paying Haloscan users so here it is, for all to enjoy:

“Under God” is two words. Do not underestimate the power of two words. The two words “Hail Hitler” killed millions of people. Hitler’s rise to power was based on social appeal and propoganda. This brings to mind the scene from “The Sound of Music” right before the concert where the officer visits the Von Trapp family and says “Hail Hitler” strongly several times, and gets Captain Von Trapp to reluctantly say it as well.

Not that I consider religious references in the Pledge of Allegiance to be on par with Nazi propoganda, but those two words have a very important meaning. They say that this country is based upon Judeo-Christian morals. That was the purpose of my closing line:

What will they do next: ban morality in schools because it stemmed from religion?

It is true, though, that our society is based on these morals, so it is idiotic to deny that. It is much like Jews that call the era after Christ CE instead of AD because they don’t believe that he was the Messiah. It is still based upon him.

As long as no religion is forced upon anybody and nobody is persecuted because of their beliefs I see nothing wrong with an allusion to our foundations.

2004-03-25T20:54:00.000-05:00

Proven: Windows is more secure than Linux out of the box

Godless Nation

2004-03-25T20:12:00.000-05:00

The new unpopularity of God in America makes liberals look like jackasses. Little Oceanside took part in this national controversy, when on the morning announcements the pledge of allegiance went from "one nation" straight to "indivisible" and was then repeated the correct way after a bit of a scolding of the announcer.

I am all for separation of church and state, especially since I lead a secular life, but changing the pledge is frivolous. What will they do next: ban morality in schools because it stemmed from religion?

2004-03-21T13:12:00.000-05:00

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: best damn sci-fi chick flick ever

2004-03-19T21:56:00.000-05:00

I returned from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I will spare you the spoiler, but this is indeed a very good movie. It is probably Jim Carey’s best work.

This is a science fiction chick flick of the highest caliber. As my cousin put it in terms of movies I have not seen: Being John Malkovich meets Memento.

This film has the classic independent film feel to it: utterly and intentionally confusing storyline at first, experimental filmography, and multi-colored hair, but pulls it off with an established cast of actors. It is a welcome change for Jim Carey, who, though always very talented, showed his ability to make a serious film.

On an unrelated note, the film took place in Rockville Centre, the town I was watching the movie in, which made me feel like a true celebrity, then like a true loser for thinking that. My mystake—I believe I just spoiled the movie.

I give thumbs.

2004-03-17T21:32:00.000-05:00

Circumventing Internet Explorer, Again

2004-03-16T20:54:00.000-05:00

I never used this practically, but in case anybody is working on a website design and needs to block an entire stylesheet from Internet Explorer, try the following hack:

Add noie or any other arbitrary word that is a valid media name but would not confuse any clients to the media declaration. So <link rel="stylesheet" href="mystyle.css" type="text/css" media="screen print"> becomes <link rel="stylesheet" href="mystyle.css" type="text/css" media="screen print noie">. This works with <link>, <style>, and @import (for the latter two use commas instead of whitespace) but not with @media selectors.

Most browsers will see the "noie" media type, decide that it does not match them, and go on to the next one. Internet Explorer has a bug that causes it to completely ignore that stylesheet.

This was asked close to a year ago and as far as I know it has not been answered.

2004-03-15T22:27:00.000-05:00

Prisoner's Dilemma simulation [java applet]
The latest post was created by Markdown.

Sociology of Black and White M&Ms

2004-03-15T22:26:00.000-05:00

You may not know it yet, but black and white M&Ms are racist. This goes beyond the idiotic notion many people get whenever they hear a word associated with a minority, but just short of not being a joke.

First of all, the candies are segregated in the bag. The first five I took out were all white. I later got to groups of all blacks and rarely got a mixed group, taking usually two or three at a time.

Secondly, the very notion of a black and white candie seems to yearn for the old days where racism was more rampant: the days when Woodrow Wilson would show Birth of a Nation in the White House.

Third, the white M&Ms are slightly larger than the black M&Ms. This causes the black one to “fall through the cracks” of the microcosm of society.

Today’s candy producers sicken me. Well, I am all out of inane accusations for the day.

2004-03-14T17:38:00.000-05:00

If you didn't notice yet, I now have two types of posts: normal and brief list-form, like this.
your dog is hacking again
Matt Domanick in drag

Back in Blog

2004-03-13T21:31:00.000-05:00

With my return to writing a weblog, I introducing a new design and a new name. Enjoy.

I'm on a sabbatical

2004-02-23T21:21:00.000-05:00

I will not post on this weblog for a couple of weeks. Nor will I read your weblogs. Sorry, but I'm on a sabbatical. I don't have much good reason, but I'm tired of this routine. Don't worry, I'll post again.

I'll be back, but until then, enjoy my latest work or my older crap.

I took this picture while changing planes in London. Enjoy.

And a Whoop for 1.7

2004-02-23T20:13:00.000-05:00

Mozilla 1.7 alpha, released today, is quite an astounding improvement over previous versions. Still unstable, I would recommend a slightly older download, but I'll be sure to play around with the new features.

But was it Planned?

2004-02-23T20:02:00.000-05:00

Justin snapped:

I have a (not so) secret admirer. I must say, the spotting was uncanny. I owe this wonder of a post to Justin.

Decisions, decisions 2004

2004-02-20T23:00:00.000-05:00

Via Lippy and Justin, I bring you the AOL Presidential Match Guide. It was no surprise that Bush was least compatible with me, but there were a few interesting revelations. In order of best match:

Al Sharpton, 100% compatible
Dennis Kucinich, 98%
John Kerry, 98%
Howard Dean, 96%
John Edwards, 89%
George Bush, 18%

Notice the harsh drop at approximately #6?

Unnecessary Bashing

2004-02-16T20:19:00.000-05:00

You've waited. Here it is. My school newspaper, the Sider Press, has no news, but this post is dedicated not to the writers, but instead to the editors. I found many errors, some funny, but due to certain time constraints, mostly my own but also my readers', I present the two funniest.

: Unfortunately I was unable to finish the article due to an unexpected EOF.
: This is by far the most hilarious thing I've read in the Sider Press. The author is the same person as the editor, and they did not catch this fact that everybody should know.

I have nothing against the editors, in case you thought I was being bitter. I just find these hilarious.

Random Carp

2004-02-13T20:58:00.000-05:00

Presented by Lenny Domnitser, of RFC 3092 erratum fame.

Any hardcore Justin Mirsky fan can tell you this already, but his phone conversation at Taco Bell consisted of the following lines before any real sentences or even half-decent clauses:

Taco Bell...
Lenny...
Feet...
Feet...
Uh huh...

Even more disturbing is his valentine for me and pretty much everybody besides Charles Tecumseh Cook. It reads:

Happy Valetine's Day!
from all your friends at the leper colony...
To: Lenny
From: Justin
Hey Batman, CUT YOUR FUCKING HAIR!
Sincerely, Justin

How touching. If this random crap was not enough for you, stay tuned for me bashing the school newspaper, this time not for lack or news, but for Marc's (and the rest of the team's) shitty editing job, in the next edition of Action Cool News 5.

Tisk, tisk

2004-02-12T21:05:00.000-05:00

What a poor investment. SCO only has a couple months of existence left.

What's next?

2004-02-09T16:28:00.000-05:00

Mozilla has released version 0.8 of its experimental web browser, Firefox. If you have been up to date with happenings over at Mozilla, you know that this browser was previously called Firebird, and before that it was Phoenix. The name keeps getting worse with every release. By 1.0, it will be called Firetortoise. I still use Seamonkey because it still has many features I would like to see in Fire(insert flavor of the month here) such as the Site Navigation Bar, but every new release of (damn, I don't know what to call this browser!) has brought a significant improvement, and I must admit that the former Netscape browser is indeed very crufty. I expect nothing but the best from Fire(bleh)'s future.

Update: Ian suggests Fireplatypus.